Andai Aku dimakamkan Hari Ini

Aku mati,
Perlahan,
tubuhku ditutup tanah.

Perlahan,
semua pergi meninggalkanku.

Masih terdengar jelas langkah2 terakhir mereka,
Aku sendirian,
di tempat gelap yg tak pernah terbayang,
Sendiri,
menunggu pertanyaan malaikat..

Belahan hati,
belahan jiwa pun pergi.
Apa lagi sekedar kawan dekat atau orang lain.
Aku bukan siapa2 lagi bagi mereka.

Sanak keluarga menangis,
sangat pedih,
aku pun demikian,
tak kalah sedih dan aku juga,

Tetapi aku tetap sendiri, disini,
menunggu perhitungan.

Menyesal sudah tak mungkin.
Tobat tak lagi dianggap & maaf pun tak bakal didengar,

Aku benar2 harus sendiri..

Ya ALLAH jika Engkau beri aku 1 lagi kesempatan,
jika Engkau pinjamkan lagi beberapa hari milikMU,
Utk aku perbaiki diriku,

Aku ingin memohon maaf pada mereka,
yg selama ini telah merasakan zalimku,
yg selama ini sengsara karena aku,
tersakiti karena aku,

Aku akan kembalikan jika ada harta kotor ini yg telah kukumpulkan,
yg bahkan kumakan..

Yaa ALLAH Beri lagi aku beberapa hari milik-Mu,
Untuk berbakti kepada ayah & ibu tercinta.
Teringat kata2 kasar & keras yg menyakitkn hati mereka,
Maafkan aku ayah & ibu, mengapa tak kusadari betapa besar kasih sayangmu,

Beri juga ya ALLAH aku waktu untuk berkumpul dgn keluargaku,
menyenangkan saudara2ku..

Untuk sungguh2 beramal soleh.
Aku sungguh ingin bersujud dihadap-Mu lebih lama lagi..

Begitu menyesal diri ini.
Kesenangan yg pernah kuraih dulu,
tak ada artinya sama sekali.

Mengapa kusia ² kan saja waktu hidup yg hanya sekali itu?
Andai aku bisa putar ulang waktu itu.

Aku dimakamkan hari ini & semua menjadi tak termaafkan & semua menjadi terlambat & aku harus sendiri

Untuk waktu yg tak terbayangkan sampai yaumul hisab & dikumpulkan dipadang masyar...

Ya RABB sampaikan salamku utk sahabatku yg selalu mengingatkan ku akan hari terakhirku didunia....

Sesungguhnya sahabat yg terbaik yaitu sahabat yang mengingatkan ku akan hari disaat aku dipanggil..
Menghadap-M

Random Things About My Mother

My mother whose eyes were strained
By a sadness that stained her eyes
With grey and blue hue

My mother who never blew
Out candles on a birthday cake

My mother who never knew
The thrills of flying in an airplane

My mother who forever threw
Her pearls to swine

My mother who knew
No contentment in living

My who mother never lived
To be even seventy two

My mother who it is true
Stopped living long before she died

My mother from whose mouth flew
Words of disappointment and fury

My mother whose lips
Tasted bitter tears

My mother sat impatiently
In sorrow through her years

My mother who like Kunta Kinte
Was tamed by Diabets

My mother who was tamed
By my father

My mother who was captured by my father

My mother who fought with my father
The two them struggling false teeth piercing each others flesh

My mother who my father told to go and cook the mint

My mother who would beat us and cause wounds and bruises to our skin

My mother who love to walk about

My mother who gave a toe
A day away

My mother who kiked with her stump of a leg after she lost her foot

My mother who was a great dresser

My mother who could sing
Sang on the church choir

My mother who would be at the front of the church earliest every Saturday
My mother who insisted I be baptized and save by the holy ghost

My mother had beautiful handwriting
My mother who had nine children for five different men

My mother who tried to settle down with my father

My mother who could never swim

My mother who loved to sing

My mother who would tie us up on leashes and take us for long walks through the town

My mother who sought out hand me-downs – for our clothing

My mother who was active in the Welfare Society at church so she could cream the crop for her family

My mother who instigated many a conflicts with her numerous friend was left with only a few in the end.

My mother whom I so wanted to help evolve

My mother who I helped to live

My mother who I had to let die

My mother who lives in me

Create Date

:

Saturday, February 21, 2009